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thorxndor:

I was sitting on my friends bed with her when she came out as gay

and I was looking through a Chinese food pamphlet

so I put it down, looked at her and said “I was going to suggest ordering food but I see now you’d prefer to eat out”

and I don’t think she’s ever really forgave me  

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

blood-orange-handed:

there are three levels to friendships:

1. super nice messages

2. slightly wierd messages

3. messages with the entirety of bohemian rhapsody lyrics and messages at 4am saying things like “what if you woke up and u were a chicken”

vickisaurusrex:

"When I was your age, I had to deal without all these electronics."

That’s because when you were my age they didn’t exist. I bet my right arm if they had, you would have also wanted them very badly, so I don’t want to fucking hear it.

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